


Hard Times (make you wonder why you even tried)

by SpaceyAgent



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blatant Mtn. Dew product placement, Celeste can't fucking drive, Celeste is allowed to say fuck, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Full disclosure thought I'm not a writer so don't get your hopes up, Hurt/Comfort, Kyoko's kinda going though it oof, Not sponsored though, The author regrets many things, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24159349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceyAgent/pseuds/SpaceyAgent
Summary: Kyoko's been out of high school for less then twelve months and her life is already falling apart.
Relationships: Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg
Comments: 7
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know why I wrote this or why it's like that and I'm by no means a writer so please don't be mean to me

Kyoko heard the soft click-clack of high-heeled footsteps approaching as she downed her second drink in five minutes, not even bothering to look up until she felt a light tap on her shoulder. 

"Now this is surprising, I would not expect to see someone like you in a place like this…" The voice sounded familiar, even among all the loud noises of the run-down bar, the odd accent setting it apart from the many others in the background. Her purple eyes met the girl's red ones and she immediately regretted not bothering to fix her hair as she took in the expression on her face. 

"S-same goes for you, I wasn't aware you'd turned twenty-one in the last six months."

"They don't know that," Celeste smiled a familiar smug smile, a glint in her eyes as she looked down at the detective. "Although, to my knowledge, you are not yet twenty-one either, are you?" 

Kyoko stared down at the table, trying to keep her uncertain expression hidden from the girl who had slid into the seat next to her, tapping her finger on the glass in her hand. "I--- it's been a long… month." She gripped her arm nervously. 

To her surprise the gambler didn't reply for a second, sitting down and taking a sip of her drink before she spoke. "I take it full-time detective work is not treating you well then?" She spoke with the same odd accent Kyoko remembered from high school, but her familiar voice did little to comfort the detective as she felt her heart drop at the question. 

"I'm… not… exactly… working as a detective anymore" She felt her breath hitch on the words, gripping her arm tighter and hoping Celeste wouldn't notice her obvious distress. "a-at the moment that is…"

"Oh, Kyoko… what... happened? " 

She could hear the tone drop in the gambler's voice and heard the clink of her setting down her glass before she felt the girl place a light, but comforting hand on her shoulder. 

"A few months after we graduated… I was working at my grandfather’s firm and he assigned me this case… I-I didn’t think anything of it, it was just like any other case I’d been assigned, and I… I had the culprit arrested within a day--- or who I thought was the culprit anyway...” Kyoko gripped her glass even tighter, trying to steady her shaking hands before Celeste had a chance to notice. “I-It seemed like all the evidence pointed to him, it really did…” She paused, drawing in a shaky breath as she tried to compose herself. “He… he didn’t do it… I couldn’t find the right culprit, and it was my fault… I… I overlooked crucial evidence, it was a stupid mistake, I don’t have anyone to blame but myself…” 

“Here… you look like you could use this…” Kyoko’s former classmate spoke up after a prolonged moment of silence, sliding another drink across the bar in her direction. 

The lavender haired girl mumbled a small ‘thanks’ before bringing the glass to her lips and downing her third drink of the night. “After that… my grandfather… kicked me out. Fired me. Said the four years I spent at Hope’s Peak had ruined all the work he did to teach me and if I was going to turn out to be a failure like my father I should see if he’d take me in…” She sat in silence, her headache only worsening as she felt a pang of guilt seeing her companion’s worried and almost angry expression.

“What a fucking asshole.” Celeste was definitely angry now, her fake accent completely gone and her words dripping with a venom she hadn’t heard since before graduation. “How did you get here?”

“... I took a cab, why-” She was cut off as she felt a small hand gripped her gloved one, dragging her towards the door with strength she wasn’t aware the other girl even possessed. 

“You are in no state to be driving and you are not ‘fine’ no matter what you say, I am taking you home.” 

The night air seeped in through her jacket as Kyoko found herself staring at the same beat-up red sports car she remembered the gambler driving in high school, a bit with a few more dents and scratches along the side. Frankly, given the girl’s record, she was impressed to even see the car was even still in once piece at all. Celeste fumbled in her bag for the keys, unlocking the passenger door and holding it open.

“Get in, it is cold out and I do not want to wait here all night.” 

Despite her slightly rude tone, Kyoko couldn’t bring herself to say anything in return as she slid into the worn, but surprisingly comfortable seat, weakly clipping her seatbelt before letting herself collapse back into the seat. She hadn’t realized how bad she’d really felt, the lack of noise had lessened the pounding in her head, but that combined with recounting events she’d been pushing to the back of her mind for a month, had left her exhausted. Hearing Celeste slip into the driver’s seat beside her, she felt a pang of shame and embarrassment as she wondered what her former classmate must be thinking seeing her like this. Her grandfather had been right, she thought grimly, she really had turned out to be a failure, making someone she hadn’t seen in months worry because she couldn’t pull herself together long enough to hold even a simple conversation.

“Where are you staying?

The voice snapped Kyoko out of her thoughts, as the girl stared at her expectantly, already backing out of the parking space---without bothering to look behind her--- she noted grimly, not optimistic for the drive ahead.

“The hotel on 4th street… and you’re supposed to look behind you when you back out.”

“A hotel?! Kyoko… why didn’t you stay with someone from our class, they all seemed to like you” The car lurched as she pulled onto the road, ignoring the bump as one of the wheels went over the curb. “and shut up, I have never been in a serious accident, now have I?” 

Kyoko tightened her grip on the door handle, debating whether or not to ask her if she considered driving Togami’s car into a lake in an attempt to follow the GPS a serious accident, but seeing as Celeste was the only thing between her and standing alone on the side on the highway in the middle of the night, she decided against it. 

“I spent a few days at Makoto’s house…”

“Would he not let you stay longer? I would think he would be too worried to let you stay at a hotel like this?” Her hands tightened on the steering wheel, and Kyoko braced herself instinctively as the car swerved sharply around a corner onto the deserted highway.

“...I told him I was in the area to work a case, I didn’t want him to worry because I made a stupid mistake.” Her voice came out harsher than the lavender haired girl expected, perhaps it was to make up for how uncharacteristically emotional she was beginning to feel. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the lack of sleep, but she felt weaker than she had since she was a child and she hated it. When her Grandfather told her to leave, and that she wasn’t worthy of the family name anymore, the only thing she could feel was an overwhelming anger, but now that was gone, leaving all the other emotions she’d been trying to push away for the past month.

“Damnit Kyoko you can’t keep doing this!” Celeste’s accent was gone again and her words were sharp enough to make Kyoko draw back instinctively as the car abruptly speed up, swerving back and forth a few times before finally straightening out again, the hectic driving only worsened by the rain that had started to fall. “You have people that care about you, but you don’t want to admit you need help, so you just convince them you’re fine!” 

The gambler turned to glare at the girl in the passenger seat, taking in her long unbrushed lavender hair failing over her disheveled clothes, barely held up by a hair tie that looked like it’d seen better days and the dark circles under her purple eyes. 

“Celeste, I’m fine I don’t need help or pity from any of you, I’m perfectly capable of handling my own problems.” The words came out strained and small, despite her attempts to muster all the anger and stoicism she had left in her, and she felt her hands shake as she moved to cross her arms, but only ended up hugging them around herself as she sunk back into the passenger seat.

“That’s fucking bullshit and we both know it! Just look at yourself Kyoko, you’re a mess, you were at a trashy bar in the middle of the night on a Tuesday and you look like you haven’t slept for a week! You’ve been having your life fall apart for a month without letting anyone help you, you’re not fucking fine!”

The car lurched again, speeding down the empty road at a speed that would incur a hefty fine from any officer, but Kyoko barely noticed.The scenery and the car interior seemed to blur as Celeste’s words echoed in her mind, and all the feelings she’d tried so hard to push down came back with a vengeance. She tried to speak, to tell the other girl that she was fine, and she could handle herself, that they shouldn’t worry, but she found herself unable to form her thoughts into words. Her eyes stung with tears she'd been holding back for a month but the last thing she wanted was for the other girl to see her fall apart completely, but, despite her her best efforts, a soft sob escaped her lips, the sound prompting Celeste to turn and meet her watery purple eyes.

"... Kyoko!?" The expression of shock on her former classmate's face only caused her control to slip further, a few tears rolling down her face before she could wipe them away with a gloved hand. "We're- we are going to be there soon, j-just a few more minutes alright? I will be caref-" 

Celeste was cut off mid sentence as her shaky hands finally lost their grip on the wheel and she yelped in surprise as the tires lost their grip on the slick pavement, sending the whole car sliding across the empty highway. Feeling herself jolted towards the window, Kyoko clung to her door handle for dear life, any worries about her composure momentarily forgotten as she heard the front tires screech to a halt on the gravel section of the shoulder, and felt a jolt as the back end of the vehicle slam into the concrete barrier. Almost immediately the lavender haired girl heard the sound of the key being turned sharply, killing the engine and leaving them both in stunned silence save for the drops of rain hitting the roof. 

"Well… a-at least no one got hurt this time, yes?" 

She shakily looked up at her companion who was gripping the steering wheel with visibly trembling hands, her dark hair slightly disheveled, but a weak smile of relief present on her face. Kyoko slowly sat back in the seat, eyes wide, as she took in a shaky breath, only managing a small "y-yes I'm not hurt…" before her breath hitched and she felt her eyes sting with more tears and she desperately tried to regain her composure, but the damage was already done. Almost before she knew it she was crying like she hasn't in longer than she could remember, her body slumped back against the seat and more tears making their way down her cheeks faster than she could wipe them away. 

"Oh fuck… I-I'm sorry I… shouldn't have gone that fast I just…" 

Celeste went quiet, completely unsure how to even begin to comfort the girl crying in the seat next to her, eventually settling on taking Kyoko's trembling hand in what she hoped was a comforting manner. To her surprise, her former classmate clasped her hand tightly in return, bringing her other gloved hand to her face in an attempt to wipe the tears away. 

Everything hurt. Her eyes stung with more tears than she even imagined she could cry, and the thought of all the emotions she'd been pushing away suddenly coming back made her chest feel tight and her head throb painfully. All the lavender haired girl wanted to do was get herself together and stop the guilt she felt at inconveniencing someone she hadn't seen in half a year like this, and the overwhelming feeling that her grandfather was right and she really was a failure. There was evidence to back up his theory she supposed, she'd clearly been unable to handle the stress of even the most basic tasks, of course naturally she wasn't worthy of the famous name. She felt herself tremble, devolving into full-blown sobbing as she grasped Celeste's hand even tighter than before. Doing so came with a small pang of guilt, but not enough to make Kyoko abandon her only source of comfort, as she hugged her free arm around herself, trying to combat the empty feeling in her chest.

The two of them sat in silence for a while, Kyoko's crying eventually devolving into the occasional soft sob, and then to nothing, leaving only the sound of large raindrops hitting the roof. 

When the lavender haired girl spoke it was soft and raspy, her words small and quiet among the loud raindrops. "I'm… sorry… you shouldn't have to see me like that…"

"... It is alright… it is not good to keep feelings like that inside, I do not think, is it?" The gambler leaned back in her seat to gaze out the windshield at the rain, still holding Kyoko's hand.

"I didn't want you to worry… it's my own fault my life is falling apart… I-I should be able to handle it" She felt her voice hitch again, a couple lone tears making their way down her face, stinging her eyes as they did so, but she wiped them away with her free hand.

"But sometimes you cannot handle it by yourself… people care about you Kyoko! Me, Makoto, hell everyone from our old class, we want to help you, but you have to let us…" 

"I'm… not the person they knew… I don't have a job, or a car, or a place to live, I'm no help to anyone like this."

"Kyoko…" Celeste's voice went quiet and Kyoko could swear she almost saw a hint of a tear in her eyes. "We… we all care about you no matter what… you do not have to be 'of help to us' understood?" 

Weakly nodding, Kyoko wrapped her arms around herself as her classmate started the engine once again, mumbling something about how the car had driven away from worse but she was too tired to notice as they pulled back onto the highway, somewhat more carefully this time. She closed her stinging eyes and the soft noise of the engine and the raindrops lulled her into unconsciousness, too exhausted to even stay awake for the rest of the trip.


	2. Chapter  2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I've done this but just take it

"Did you have a nice nap?" 

Kyoko opened her eyes drowsily, the hazy lights of a unassuming-looking apartment complex filtering in through the windshield. 

"I… fell asleep?" She turned to face her former classmate, attempting to snap out of the daze of sleepiness that still had a firm hold on her. 

"Only about two minutes I started driving again" Celeste pulled the keys from the ignition, shoving them in her purse "but do not worry, we got here without any further incidents"

The lilac haired girl slowly unbuckled her seatbelt, still in a slight daze from the night's previous events. She almost cringed thinking of the embarrassment of having to relay of someone she hadn't seen in months to provide her with a place to stay, but the emotional side of her she tried so hard to sweep under the rug longed for more of the comforting feeling she'd gotten from Celeste earlier, and the rest of her felt too weak and hazy to resist the girl's offer.

The rain was still coming down hard as the two girls made their way up the stairs to the door of Celeste's apartment. Kyoko felt water soak into her clothes and hair almost immediately, and looked over to see her companion holding her bag over her head, mumbling something about "spending too long on her hair and makeup for stupid nature to come along and ruin it". The sight was almost funny, and the lavender haired girl caught herself quietly laughing, only for the gambler to glare in her direction as she tried her best to dig through her purse for her keys. 

"Well here we are, make yourself comfortable I suppose" Celeste said, pushing open the door. "just try your best not to drip water all over the carpet, it was not exactly cheap you know"

Nodding, Kyoko hung her damp jacket on the rack just inside the door and did her best to squeeze most of the water out of her hair before kicking off her shoes and taking a seat on the large sofa in the middle of the room. The apartment was comfortable, if not a fair bit crowded, filled with fancy antique-looking furniture and other various artifacts, and she suddenly felt like a child in one of those fancy living rooms you were never actually allowed to sit down in. Her worries vanished however, as she turned around to see Celeste shove a display sword across what looked like a formal dining room table positioned oddly almost in front of one of the kitchen cabinets to set her purse down. 

"There is no need to act so scared Kyoko, it is just furniture, and besides, I keep anything that I really like at my main estate," she laughed, opening one of the cabinets and rifling through it "this apartment might as well be a glorified storage unit."

Kyoko couldn't help letting her detective instincts take over as she glanced around the room, taking in the full extent of the clutter. A few large display cabinets stood along the walls, completely empty except for the odd book or figurine. The mahjong set she remembered the gambler having, and a few of the other things from the gambler's dorm room in highschool where scattered about the room, seemingly shoved in various cabinets or almost hidden behind other things. It was almost like she'd prefer not to be reminded of her time at Hope's Peak, Kyoko thought momentarily, but brushed it off as Celeste just having moved on to bigger and better things. Before she could ponder the question in greater detail though, she felt something brush against her leg and looked down to see Grand Bois Chéri Ludenberg, her former classmate's beloved cat, looking up at her with an expression she could only describe as "about to knock an expensive glass off the the table with no regrets" and sighed as he wasted no time jumping up onto the sofa and curling up in her lap, meowing loudly in a demand to be pet. 

"It seems he remembers you" Celeste was behind her now, leaning over her shoulder to pet Chéri, "he's normally not very friendly to anyone except me" 

"Mmm… I guess he does…"

Kyoko heard the cat begin to purr as he rubbed his head against the other girl's hand. She looked happy as she ran her hand through her cat's fluffy fur, but the detective swore she almost caught a glimpse of sadness in her red eyes. 

"Anyways, I am going to get changed into something dry and… more comfortable…" Her tone was confident, but the lavender haired girl detected a small flash of nervousness on her unshakable poker face as she made her way back twords the kitchen. "Just try your best not to be too surprised"

"Don't worry, it's nothing I haven't seen before"

"Oh well.. help yourself to anything in the kitchen" 

Kyoko heard her companion leave through the door on the other side of the room, leaving her alone in the heavy silence of the apartment. Leaning back against the couch, she gazed up at the ceiling, letting her thoughts drift once again. Any effect of the alcohol she'd had earlier was beginning to wear off, leaving her feeling significantly more awake, but also more aware of the feeling that she was intruding on her former classmate's life. They'd been close in highschool, or as close as either of them could get with another person, but no one had heard from the gambler since graduation. Makoto had informed her during her short stay at his house that the rest of the class had chalked it up to her "being busy and thinking she was too good for us" but Celeste's behavior and the evidence she'd seen in her apartment lead Kyoko to believe the truth was something else entirely. Knowing her classmate however, that was a truth she would likely go to great lengths to keep hidden. 

She was still lost in thought as the door opened, and she heard Celeste step into the room, almost silently if not for a string of curses as she walked almost straight into the inconveniently placed dining table. Chéri seemed to have had enough of being pet, and jumped off Kyoko's lap, padding over to jump up on the kitchen counter just in time for her to turn around and see his owner feed him a few pieces of cereal and some milk out of her hand. The former ultimate detective caught herself laughing a bit at the site of the usually elegant women, dressed in an old hoodie and shorts, now trying her best to keep the rest of her cereal away from her cat. 

"Maybe if you didn't feed him on the counter like that, he wouldn't go after your food" 

"Oh what am I supposed to do, not feed my cat? Would you suggest I deprive him of his snack?" She turned to glare indignantly at the girl on her couch, her face going slightly red in embarrassment at being seen in her current state. Finally pushing Chéri away from her cereal, she made her way over to the sofa, shoving a bowl of cereal and a spoon into Kyoko's hands. 

"You like cereal right? If I know you, you haven't eaten a proper meal all day because you still cannot cook, and you think you are too good to order take out" she sighed, sitting down next to the lavender haired girl, " I know it is not exactly a meal, but it can't be worse than the 'two cups of coffee' I have seen you try to pass off as dinner"

"… You don't have to use that accent around me…"

"Excuse me?" Celeste paused, taken aback by her former classmate's words.

"I already know you, you don't have to put up your facade for me, I know what you look like without your extensions and makeup, and I know you poured your Mtn. Dew in a teacup to bring over here because you thought I wouldn't notice…" The girl's red eyes widened in slight shock, her face turning slightly red in embarrassment. "You didn't think I forgot all the time we spent together in highschool, did you?"

"... I did not forget. I am just… not used to it, no one's seen me like this since then, you know"

"Unless you want to, that is. But I'm not going to judge you, I'd be a hypocrite if I did… especially after how I acted earlier" 

"I suppose that is the case…" she finished her cereal in silence, setting down her bowl to take a sip of Mtn. Dew out of the tea cup she'd brought over earlier.

Hoping she wasn't overstepping, Kyoko reached over, a bit slightly awkwardly, to lightly take the other girl's hand. She didn't quite know why, maybe she just hoped to feel the warm feeling of comfort she'd felt when Celeste had held her hand in the car earlier, but it felt like the right thing to do in the moment. The other girl seemed surprised at first, but eventually squeezed her hand lightly in return, the warmth making both of them feel more at ease. 

"Do you remember when you drove Togami's car into the lake?" Kyoko broke the silence, turning to look at her former classmate with a nostalgic smile.

"Oh God, you're never going to let me live that down are you?" Celeste brought a hand to her face in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. The lavender haired girl had almost forgotten how endearing it was how easily her face managed to betray her emotions when she was even a little flustered.

"You showed up soaking wet outside my door, and the first thing you did was demand to know if Togami could sue you for following his GPS's orders to drive into a lake. I remember I just laughed because I didn't think you were being serious."

"The GPS system was clearly broken" the gambler mumbled indigently under her breath "it told me to go left, and I did, what's the crime in that" 

"No there isn't. However…" Kyoko leaned over, taking a sip of Mtn. Dew from the tea cup "most people would assume that a GPS would avoid directing them to drive straight into a lake."

"I just can't believe you remember something like that," the gambler laughed, and it sounded uncharacteristically genuine for someone who hid such a large part of themselves from the rest of the world. "Honestly… I can't believe you remember me at all… it's not like anyone else did…" The sudden glint of sadness in her red eyes was obvious, and Kyoko caught a slight hitch in her voice on her last few words. 

"We tried to talk to you, you know." her voice sounded more angry than she'd intended it to, but she ignored it, turning around to meet the girl's red eyes. "You just never responded..."

A heavy silence hung in the air for a moment, and Kyoko could feel Celeste's hand shake, even though her gloves and felt an uncharacteristic sense of emotion well up in her. She suspected seeing the other girl's obvious loneliness only further drove home how lonely she really felt herself. Both of them were oddly similar in that way, forced into a life of loneliness by their respective talents, and their shared inclination to push anyone away out of a fear that any sign of weakness would surely be met with rejection.

"I… assumed you only did it as a common courtesy…" The gambler gripped Kyoko's hand tighter, talking another shakey sip of her Mtn. Dew "I didn't see why any of you would actually want to spend your time with me…" 

"I wanted to see you… not like this of course, no one should have to see me fall apart like that…" she gave a hollow laugh, gazing up at the ceiling "but I'm glad I ran into you… truthfully, I don't know what I would have done otherwise…"

"I don't mind… to tell the truth, I wanted to see you too. You specifically, I mean." Celeste's face went slightly red, and she brought her hands to her face in an poorly executed attempt to hide it. "At any rate, it is far too late for conversations like these" she set her teacup on the coffee table, leaning back into the couch and rummaging through the couch cushions for the TV remote. 

"Mmm… you're right…." Kyoko sighed, leaning over to lay down, resting her head on her former classmate's lap.

"K-Kyoko!" Celeste jumped slightly at the sudden gesture of affection, but quickly regained her composure, sighing as she ran a hand through the girl's tangled hair. "... Chéri isn't going to be happy you know, that's his spot you're taking"

"He's got good taste, it's the best spot…" closing her eyes, Kyoko reached for the remote, turning down the volume of the HGTV show playing in the background "so soft… definitely more comfortable than the sofa…"

"Kyoko! And here I thought you would have sobered up by now…" The gambler lightly hit her shoulder with the remote "get some sleep before you say anything else that stupid…" 

Feeling herself smile genuinely for the first time in weeks, the lavender haired girl let herself relax, the soft sounds of the TV fading into distance static in the background. She hadn't felt this relaxed in longer than she could remember, and all the worries of the past few months seemed to melt away as Celeste ran her hands through her long lavender hair, muttering something about the couple on the screen didn't deserve a beach house, and she felt herself slowly drift off into the best sleep she'd gotten in months.

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to know what Celeste did to Togami's car, just look up the scene from the office of Michael and Dwight diving the car into the lake


End file.
